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Funny Posts

  • Things A Burglar Won’t Tell You #1

    1. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.
    2. The two things I hate most: barking dogs and nosy neighbors.
    3. I’ll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he’ll stop what he’s doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn’t hear it again, he’ll just go back to what he was doing. It’s human nature.
    4. I’m not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?
    5. I love looking in your windows. I’m looking for signs that you’re home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I’d like. I’ll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.


  • What Not To Say To A Police Officer

    What Not To Say To A Police Officer

    • I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.
    • Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.
    • Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?
    • Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
    • Are You Andy or Barney?
    • I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
    • You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?
    • I pay your salary!
    • Gee, Officer! That’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
    • Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
    • I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That’s how far ahead of me they are.
    • When the Officer says “Gee Son….Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?” You probably shouldn’t respond with,” Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?”

    Your friend at TnT Personal Security

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